Bushisms, bruises, bluegrass and babies!

It had been far too long since I posted anything up here, and what do I find when I logged into blogger, this gem that I had written on the 23rd of January, sitting as a draft. So before I add anything new, here is something you all deserve:

Before we get onto the post material, can I first introduce and plug and quote the all new webby, www.andrewblackburn.co.uk

I will try and get something more concrete up shortly, but for now, here is
the first photo album that I have chucked up. I may move my blog
here, I'm unsure for now... Whilst you're here however, you may as well (read as, bloody well better) go and check out my wee babbies blog at http://wealllovericehere.blogspot.com ....or else!

And now, on with the show...

"In my sentences I go where no man has gone before"; a "wise" man once quipped, and how right he was. Just to continue, or more, to begin afresh with my amusement surrounding George W. Bush. Even for a man with such a poor command of the English language, I still can't understand how he can mess up even the simplest of phrases. Or why he doesn't just prepare his bloody speeches before he is due to give them. Take this one for example:

There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee...that says, fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again.

Gee George, when are you going to engage your fricking brain before opening that big large gob of yours? You never know, you may be able to shake this permanent issue you have, which involves placing both of your feet in your mouth! But before I jump off this topic, I just have to share this one with you:

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.

And that boys and girls, is why we want to keep as far away from Mr Bush, who I think scientists may want to start observing as a possible candidate for the missing link, he wants to hurt us all!!



Rugby is a funny sport at times, it really is. The 4 games we played prior to today's were all closely fought, and unfortunately lost. We have been playing well, except for the fact that we give away too many penalties, and as we have been told time and time again, penalties cost you games. Today however, we managed to give away 8 penalties compared to Almeria's 3 in the first half, and then gave another 12 in the second half (that's a grand total of 20 penalties in a game... which is shocking) but still managed to emerge as the victors, for only the second time this season! Add to the elation, the fact that I, yes, I actually got a try! Unfortunately, this being such a rarest of rare occasions, I kinda just landed on the ball, hurting, and bruising my ribs... never mind though ayy, 5 points to my name!



Recently, whilst discussing random music on the GLMS forum, we were having a laugh at recent swing version of rock and pop songs, particularly by Paul Anka and Richard (Dick) Cheese, when someone piped up about a group called Fade to Bluegrass, a Metallica tribute band who play banjos and the like. Well what can I say, I like it, quite a lot, and couldn't help myself as I downloaded "A Treasury of Bluegrass" and guess what, I like most of that too. Another genre to add to my already highly eclectic taste!



As you can see (if you've noticed the moving bit underneath my web site's logo) I'm using my upcoming Daddyhood as inspiration to learn some new bits and pieces, even if I define "learn" as "plagerise" or "steal" and "bits and pieces" as "other people's code!" But hey, it all counts doesn't it, and it adds a nice little touch to the site I think.

Guess what...

...?

I'm going to have a rant. I feel I haven't had a rant in ages, and I am feeling rather bloody miffed! Let us get to the beginning shall we... at (let's see what the phone says...) "Call received 03:50:22"

I, and my 3 and a half month pregnant love of my life (we will continue this bit after the rant!! Shock horror, I know, all will become clearer in due course), were awoken by the familiar sound of my mobile (cell for the Americans :P) going off. I reached over and grabbed it, and in a blur of fumbling to find the button, at the same time as I tried to sit up, and attempt to make a coherant sound to let the caller know I was there (you know what it's like when you first wake up, dry throat, that crusty substance sealing your lips shut) I finally managed to make some sense out of the situation!

I was told that it was PC (police constable) some number from Central Police Station, and that there was an officer waiting to be let into my old office, as an alarm was going off inside the building, and I was a listed key holder. Well, you can imagine the barrage of abuse this policewoman took. It went along the lines of:

Me: I HAVEN'T F*CKING WORKED THERE SINCE THE SUMMER! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I'M THE FIRST LISTED KEYHOLDER? EVEN WHEN I WORKED THERE I WAS 2ND OR 3RD ON THE LIST! WHAT F*CKING TIME IS IT ANYWAYS?

Cop: It's ten to four AM, and sir, it isn't our responsibility to keep these lists up to date, when changes are made we have to be notified.

Me: I COULDN'T CARE LESS WHO'S RESPONSIBILITY IT IS, WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO ME? YOU SHOULD GET IN TOUCH WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND INFORM THEM THAT I AM STILL ON THE LIST AND SHOULD BE REMOVED.

Cop: That isn't our responsibility, you will have to contact them in the morning.

I then hung up, ranted some more and tried to get some shut eye before having to get up at 6:30/7. Not even a "sorry for waking you" from the bint at the police station, I'd have her fucking badge if I could remember the number she blurted at me when I answered the phone...

So who's responsibility is it to keep this list up to date? I agree the company should inform the police when someone leaves that is on this list, but surely the police have a duty to check at regular intervals whether this list needs changing in any way?

Then, after speaking to one of my former colleagues that is the PA to the HR Director, and she was very apologetic and assured me that she would get it sorted. (This made me happy)

She calls me back 2 minutes later saying she sent a letter to the police on the 31st of August with the new list, and my name was NOT ON IT. (This in turn mades me very angry.)

Two phone calls to the police station later and "The Man" has been taken to twice! Firstly I phoned up and gave them hell, as they rather smugly informed me that "my name was not on the list for [former place of work]" so I rather quickly replied with the following quip:

"So pray tell CUNTstable, just why did one of your colleagues call me at 10 minutes to 4 this morning to let me know that there was an alarm at [former place of work]"

"Ohh... I'm not sure"

"Well I would like to know that my name is OFF that list, as I do not need calling at 4am, especially seeing as my new job has me working shifts..."

Apparently they have a hard copy and a computerised copy of the list, and the hard copy is normally more up to date than the computerised list and he would get in touch with the officer in charge of updating the computerised list and get back to me.

I then find out that they had called my old house number (at my parents place) before trying my mobile, and got my mum, who was working till 1am out of bed! Back on the blower to the cops, to let them know that I thought it was completely fucking rediculous that they would call someones house number, and wake up the entire household for something that wasnt an emergency, rather than the mobile number that they had been provided with and just wake that one person up. Surely that is the whole point of a mobile phone!?!?!

I also asked if they had sorted the list yet, and they were not sure. I told them that I had spoken to [former place of work] again, and apparently they have a new alarm system in place, and it is so sensitive that mosquitos seem to be setting it off... and if I get another call at 4am tomorrow morning, they will have a very angry person in a dressing gown at the police station banging over paid, flourescently decorated heads together... in not so many words...

*AND RELAX*



Which is exactly what Siobhan and my little babbie (pronounced bah-bee) is doing right now. Just chilling and growing, and growing in his/her Mum's belly!
We found out back in November, but wanted to wait till we had had our first scan, and passed that cruicial 3 month period before letting everybody know, and trust me, it's been a seriously hard secret to keep! I've been so excited since I found out and can't wait to be a Dad :) Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, Baby Blackburn-Myles:



Or as it is commonly known as (just now) Lil' Lemon, as we have been naming it after the fruit it is currently the size of :) We've had cherries, figs and limes, and now it's the Lemon's turn :D

We've also started a little blog for the kidflump to read about its growth and development when it is older, and that can be found here. So yeah, I am 14 weeks towards being a Dad! Isn't that brilliantly exciting everyone!!!

Right, I have little time left before this shift is over, so I will have to love you and leave you!
All the best
Andy :D